...look who stopped by

I came home on Saturday to this mysterious box. I can't explain the feeling of anticipation and curiosity that overcomes me when I see a package marked "Comfort Doll ".  These little gals are who greeted me upon opening. As you can see on the second photo, Cathy backed each with some really fun fabric! These CD's were made by Cathy Holzer of Davenport Iowa. Giant thanks Cathy. My basket has gotten full again so it's time for me to get to work and get these wonderful dolls to their new loving homes.
I hope everyone is enjoying their first month of 2011, make it a good one, you deserve it!
Smiles to All,
Brenda
(aarrrrgh...blogger is having issues with uploading pics...so, I'll try again later...huh...now it's like you have a package waiting on your doorstep waiting to be opened too...feel the anticipation?)

check out these eyes!

I was lucky enough to happen upon this post by Marin Lenz. She shared how she makes "glass" like eyes. So, I gave it a whirl....all I can say is HOW COOL! and of course a giant THANKS. These are my first set of eyes to use in an unknown doll somewhere down the line. Please take the time to check out Marin's blog and her wonderful work!
Smiles to All
Brenda

...Breeennnddaa...where are you?

Oh, there I am.
Yep, I'm still here and have set some new goals this year for my participation in the CDP. A basic is post more often. (I have to confess that working with a planner is one of my personal "lofty" goals this year, and believe me, it is a lofty goal, I struggle like crazy with this so called "tool" (can you sense my apprehension?)) But, goal it is!
The other is doing my own studies of dolls. Starting with a basic doll shape and then seeing how I can alter and manipulate the outcome with different embellishments and treatments. My hope with setting this goal; that it will help me kind of "force" my own creativity. I will then post my adventures with thoughts and photos of the work that I am doing.
So, there you have it, a brief synopsis of what I'm looking forward to this 2011! Post more, work more.
Happy New Year to All!
Let's start where we are...what a great place it can be.
Smiles to All,
Brenda

...a special thanks

Well, I don't know how many times I've returned home to a package from one of you great givers. It is such a wonderful feeling. But, a special thanks needs to be sent out to Patti Koosed of Treasure Barn: http://www.treasurebarnblog.blogspot.com/. I haven't, but should have, counted how many wonderful little comfort dolls have graced my door, and been delivered to caring hands over the past year. I can tell you that it has been over a handful. So, just a giant shout out to Patti. Thank you for your dedication to this project.

I also had the opportunity to spread the word this past weekend at our Artisan Open House. I met some wonderful women who are involved in our local shelter, which I admittedly have not yet donated to. (Hmmm, sometimes we need to look in our own back yards to extend a helping hand) They were very supportive of the project and are spreading the word.
Warm and Loving Smiles to All,
Brenda

Another new supporter!!!

Earlier this week I came home to a box at my doorway. I love it when I see a box at the door. Looking down I saw those wonderful words "Comfort Doll Project" and couldn't wait to open the box. Inside, 24 comfort dolls donated by Christine Amaryllis who is co-moderator of the Goddessdolls Yahoo Group. Christine was kind enough to post a link to our site, with her Yahoo group, suggesting that if any little goddesses need to find a new home, ours would be a great place. It's a pretty fun site, I joined, and finally signed up to participate in an ornament swap. I'm looking forward to being assigned my swap partner.  Thanks Christine!!
Smiles to All, Brenda

...sharing 3 lessons

Yesterday I once again had the privileged of listening to Eva Mozes Kor speak. Eva and her sister Miriam were twins who were experimented on by Dr. Mengele at Auschwitz, one of the concentration camps during the Holocaust of WWII. Eva has been coming to speak with our 8th grade class for the past 15 years. I share this with you because what she shared with us were 3 experiences she had, and 3 lessons she learned.
 At the age of 10, Eva  was brought into the camp in a cattle car with her family. As her family was loaded off the train, males went one way, females another. A Nazi shouting TWINS, her mother not knowing if this was good or bad, a Nazi acknowledging  good,  their mother nodded yes and Eva and Miriam were ripped out of the tight grasp of their mothers hand. Within 10 minutes, Eva and Miriam had lost their entire family. Eva described the barracks that the twins stayed. She described stepping over young corpses in the latrine, and making a solemn pledge  in her mind that she and her sister would  escape that fate. She described the injections  of germs and diseases she would be given in one arm, while blood would be taken from her other. She described laying in a bunk so close to death and hearing Dr. Mengele, the angel of death,  said laughing sarcastically "too bad she's so young, she only has 2 weeks to live" and mark her off his list. She described in this death barrack the fact that there was no food, no water, just the wait for death or your fever to break, and her knowing where water was. At 10 years old, crawling, dragging herself across a cold floor, drifting in and out of consciousness  toward water, knowing that she needed that to survive.

Her 3 life lessons were this.
1. NEVER give up. No matter how difficult life is, what your circumstance, no matter what your dream, never give up. If you keep hammering away, your wonderful minds will come up with answers that will work, never give up on yourself or give up on  your dreams, and everything good in your life will happen.
2. Do not prejudge. Prejudice was one of the reasons that Hitler succeeded to rising in power. Realize that everything that we do touches the lives of another. Just as a stone tossed into a still lake makes a ripple out, if two stones are tossed the ripples they make will reach each other. Treat everyone we meet in our daily lives with respect and kindness and judge them on their actions, by doing so we are making a difference in the world one person at a time.
3. Forgive. Forgiveness is nothing more or nothing less than an act of self healing and taking control back over our own life. Having the power to forgive is a power that everyone has that no one can take away. Using your power of forgiveness will heal your soul and set you free. Eva's letter of amnesty  

This was the third time I've listened to her speak. Each time has been inspiring. I urge everyone to be inspired daily.

drifting off to sleep last night...

Last night I fell asleep spooning with my husband, his arm wrapped around my body and then this funny wrap arm thing that we do, he holds onto my wrist and I pull both our arms then close to my body. It's a gesture that says, I am here for you, I won't let you go.
I've not always been able to sleep like this, and some nights, I still can't. (quite honestly the majority of those are due to hot flashes, but I will admit, that some are probably due to past conditioning). I used to sleep on the very edge of my bed, with my two year old son wrapped tightly into my chest.with my ex-husband on the other side. (As I write this a tear has just come down my face...I just realized how similar the "I am here for you, I won't let you go", refrain of life can be)
While drifting off to sleep last night I did drift into memories of the past. I landed on the night I awoke to paramedics banging on my door. My ex-husband had called 911, his intestines were leaking into his body. He'd had surgery a few days earlier and demanded to be released early...now he was dying in our bed, with our third son fast asleep, oblivious to the sheer horror that surrounded him.
What I thought last night was the same horror, fear, and complete detachment from this man who I called my husband then. I'd already learned about detachment through ala-non, through Melody Beattie, through wonderful self help books. I'd already learned that when he questioned my being at church for too long, and called me a slut and a liar, that it was him not me. But still, the words. The words still came in. And somehow, the words still hurt. And I still believed the words.
I write this now, so that you know that you are not alone. I've been there. You do not have to stay there. I've been blessed by wonderful Authors: Melody Beattie's  The New Co-Dependency: Help and Guidance for today's Generation,  Eckhart Tolle's The New Earth, Geneen Roth's, Women, Food, God. All of these books have helped me understand that living my life right now, not the life of my past, or the fear of the life in the future, is the life to live.They have brought me back to trust in the power's that be, you may call It God, you may call It Nature, you may call It Buddha, something in the universe that is larger than yourself, the name does not matter, the knowing is what does. And yes, flashbacks may happen, so I will feel the pain they bring, the disappointment, the anger, the sadness, and feel through it. When I feel through it, it doesn't have the same grip on me as it once had...it's amazing. I've found, like last night, that yes, it may pop back into my mind, and I may start berating myself for being so stupid, so trusting, so....wait....NO...I lived through a terrible situation the best I knew how! How courageous of me! That is what It brings. The ability to stop the abuse, even my own self-abuse.
What I'm learning now is, eh, I'll call it better detachment. The night of the paramedics, and the weeks to follow, I was detached, yes, but I had no empathy for this man. If he died, so be it,  he brought it on himself. Yes, this is true. What a very cold place in my heart. I don't want that place to exist anymore. I think that when it does, it's taking up valuable space that instead could be filled with warmth, compassion and love. That is a sensation that belongs in my heart.  That is what I am learning now. Thanks for letting me share it with you.
Warm Smiles to All,
Brenda